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So those who care don't worry about my state of mind lately - do not worry, I've had this image in my mind for a while.
I like to imagine this kind of situation in my mental landscape. I like to personify my depression / the depression-side of what I've got as a nasty, hungry black beast. (I have no idea why I like to imagine the moose-antlers, though). If if you're wondering about the skull on the human figure, well, I like skulls. Even when I am happy (or angry, as the mania side of me seems to be with me most of the time), or on an even-keel, I am aware that this beast follows me, always two steps behind. Maybe, on my best days, four steps behind.
It follows, looking for an opening, any opening to leap upon me to try to devour and kill me (in that order). I have a sword with which to fight the beast, to beat it back. The hilt is made of those I care about/who care about me and thoughts for them. The blade is made of Hope. I polish it up regularly in Oil of Spite (that is, spite for the world, a kicking stubborness against its labels and petty thoughts).
I don't believe that there is any single solution, nor do I even believe "It Gets Better." I believe, firmly, that I will always be fighting the beast, perhaps making gains in my journey, but it will always be lurking in the shadows.
What I believe in is the Fight. Any day when I can tell the beast "Not today." is a good day.
Pencil on paper.
I like to imagine this kind of situation in my mental landscape. I like to personify my depression / the depression-side of what I've got as a nasty, hungry black beast. (I have no idea why I like to imagine the moose-antlers, though). If if you're wondering about the skull on the human figure, well, I like skulls. Even when I am happy (or angry, as the mania side of me seems to be with me most of the time), or on an even-keel, I am aware that this beast follows me, always two steps behind. Maybe, on my best days, four steps behind.
It follows, looking for an opening, any opening to leap upon me to try to devour and kill me (in that order). I have a sword with which to fight the beast, to beat it back. The hilt is made of those I care about/who care about me and thoughts for them. The blade is made of Hope. I polish it up regularly in Oil of Spite (that is, spite for the world, a kicking stubborness against its labels and petty thoughts).
I don't believe that there is any single solution, nor do I even believe "It Gets Better." I believe, firmly, that I will always be fighting the beast, perhaps making gains in my journey, but it will always be lurking in the shadows.
What I believe in is the Fight. Any day when I can tell the beast "Not today." is a good day.
Pencil on paper.
Image size
1521x1158px 345.53 KB
© 2014 - 2024 Shadsie
Comments7
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This is great, love the imagery and your personification of depression. This really spoke to me in a significant way. It's very imaginative and I love the antlers and skull. Very kick ass.
I envision my depression as a pit (think the prison in The Dark Knight Rises) that I have to keep trying to climb out of. I get up to a certain height, sometimes I can keep going other times I fall back down.
Totally agree, any day you can tell the beast "Not today." is a good day.
I envision my depression as a pit (think the prison in The Dark Knight Rises) that I have to keep trying to climb out of. I get up to a certain height, sometimes I can keep going other times I fall back down.
Totally agree, any day you can tell the beast "Not today." is a good day.