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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Empress of BonesFemale/United States Recent Activity
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I work in a variety of mediums and my works have a variety of themes. You'll find everything from painted found animal bones and other nature art to fantasy pieces, to original writing and even lots of fanart for some of my favorite things.

Random Favourites

My tastes are varied and, thus, I favorite a variety of things. Some things here are gifts to me, some things are fanart, some are original, and there are even some photographs here.

Wishlist

I don't really have any room on my walls for prints, and expect no one to ever get them for me, but I do like these. Think of this as a secondary Favorites gallery.

deviantID

Shadsie
Empress of Bones
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hello, I go by Shadsie. If you want to know my age, I "live outside of time."

I am an artist of varied mediums, some of them unusual. My favorite medium is acrylic paint and I frquently use animal bones as a canvas. I find these out in natural places and meticulously clean them - I don't kill any of the animals to make my art, they're all just found.

Otherwise, I paint on canvas and paper. I draw, I sculpt a little and I even do a bit of digital work - in short, I work with whatever I can get my hands on and do a lot of experimenting.

I have an associate's degree in graphic design, but it hasn't seen much work. I have written fantasy novels that I'm seeking publication for and have not obtained yet. Otherwise, I am prone to becoming obessed with various entertainments and will do fan art for such. My gallery is split between fan art, works on skulls and bones, artwork related to my unpublished novels, original misc. artwork and my jewelrymaking experiments.

I am willing to take concrit on all works unless specified, even on older works for which I am too lazy to enable the new "critique" feature on.


Enjoy!

Current Residence: Hyrule.
Favourite genre of music: Classic Rock, Alternative, Various
Favourite style of art: Fantasy, Nature Art, Surrealism, Realism, Anime.
Operating System: Windows XP
Shell of choice: Hmm... something made of bone?
Wallpaper of choice: Painted animal bones cover my walls.
Skin of choice: No skin. Bone.
Favourite cartoon character: Vash the Stampede.
Personal Quote: The more I learn about nature, the less guilty I feel about eating its creatures.
Interests
  • Mood: Pissed Off
  • Listening to: NEVER to KISS again...
  • Reading: The Internet
  • Watching: Life pass me by...
  • Playing: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
  • Eating: Cheese Sandwich
  • Drinking: Pepsi
Lately talk of mental illness has been in the news again - depression and suicide in particular.  

Lately, everyone on any even vaguely "newsworthy" site (including Cracked, a site for comedy and random nightmare fuel) have been acting as pundits... 

Comments boxes... NEVER go to the comments boxes anywhere on the Internet. They're schmuck-bait, but I'm such a schmuck.  I've been in one of my "uplift" cycles recently, so I've been strong enough to read the things and have even become a bit of a rage-addict.  The farts of assholes light my creative fires, it seems, when I'm in these states.  Hooray for that side of the bipolar coin.  Of course, imagining myself in my mind's landscape as a tail-wagging, panting, knife-wielding murder-happy little puppy who wants to make magical portals to people's locations appear in the Internet probably isn't a good thing.  That's when Vash the Stampede enters my brain and tells me to stop it.  

By the time I read some stupid comments by Gene Simmons today on Yahoo, I was in a place of "Meh."  "Meh, idiot, moving on." Not that I didn't imagine slicing up that legendarily long tongue of his into sushi and force-feeding him the remains down his throat for a moment.  

Violent imagery makes me happy because I know I'm not actually going to do it. Though, as I said on one (friendly) board full of intelligent and good people I go to, people who say stupid things are better in a state of "May God deal with you because you don't want me to." 

Anyway, some light needs to be brought into the dark pit of ignorance that is what the world thinks of about depression, suicidal drives and related illnesses. Keep in mind that I'm not a therapist.  I am a sufferer.  

I have bipolar disorder.  This is why I don't immediately get depressed over depressing news, I'm just as likely to get angry and to entertain myself with mental imagery that belongs in Elfen Lied or Attack on Titan.  It depends upon which switch in my brain is flipped that day.  Oh, and IT IS A BRAIN CONDITION, AND YES, THE BRAIN IS AN ORGAN JUST LIKE YOUR PANCREAS.  (Here's where I get a bit of Weird Al stuck in my head)...  My condition, as well as Clinical Depression, are classified BY SCIENCE as being conditions of the brain that have to do with chemical imbalances, and, more often than not, genetics, or a combination of genetics and triggers from life experiences.  

Oh, and there's no cure... from what I've heard, bipolar, at least, is a lifelong condition.  I think it is this way with other kinds of depression.  Perhaps I'll ask my therapist the next time I see her as part of my "Internet ignorance elimination project."  It's kind of like having a chronic pain condition or diabetes.  It's something that is, with the best treatment, a thing to be managed, but nothing you can take a magic pill or pull yourself up by your bootstraps and "get over."

If I don't hang myself by the boostraps, I'll hang YOU by them.  

I actually expect to get late-onset diabetes someday, due to my family's genetics.  (Maybe I can stave it off with enough exercise and good food, but, probably not even then, it's so rooted in the blood).  Unlike the bipolar genetic legacy, I don't expect to see people making stupid comments about it or telling me to go ahead and kill myself over it, because diabetes has won a firm place in our culture as "a physical and therefore real thing."  

Which brings me to another aspect:  The brain is an ill-understood organ, so problems with it's function are mistaken for problems of the mind. They are linked so as to be indistinguishable to most of us.  However, sometimes, depression does have a "respected as real" physical cause.   I knew someone once, online, who spoke of how she was in chronic depression and just about ready to kill herself before being taken to the hospital for an unrelated thing.  It turned out she had some kind of rare condition that was causing her internal bleeding.  Once that was corrected, she felt better, the depression lifted.  Physical cause - loss of blood.  Some people with diabetes get very loopy when their blood sugar wonks out. - Again, an easily traceable physical aspect.  

Even if you persist in seeing depression as a "choosing to be sad" in the manner of addiction... let me tell you, addiction's not that easy, either.  I'm a teetoler, myself. This is because I've witnessed the affects of addiction in my family.  My father went through rehab and got sober when I was around nine years old and has kept on a clean path ever since. However, he will be the the first to tell you that he's not "cured." He's "a recovering alcoholic" because that *is* the clinical term.  There is always that specter looming around in the brain. 

And that's like what the depression aspect of my condition is for me.  Some people with depression personify it.  They make it into a character that they can talk to or argue with.  (I've seen it.)  With me? I don't do that so much because my depression is a snarling, drooling beast.  It looks kind of like a cross between a rat and a wolf with branching horns (because I have actually wanted to draw the thing).  It hangs around me always.  Some days it's two steps behind me.  On really good days, four steps.  However, it is always there, waiting for a random opening.  When it strikes, I have to fight it with a sword edged in Hope, set in a hilt of thoughts for the people I Love, and, more often than not, oiled up and shined with Spite.  The beast is beaten back and never slain.  I worry that it might win someday.  Other days, I feel I've defeated a dungeon boss in the Legend of Zelda. It's still there, though. Watching. Waiting.  

One of my chiefest reasons for remaining in the world?  Assholes who say I should leave it because they think people like me are too "emo" or something don't DESERVE my absence.   

The "appeal to worse problems" fallacy always makes me want to take a shit in someone's Cheerios.  "My mother survived the Holocaust and didn't once want to kill herself!"  "There are children in Iraq who suffer more than any American does, so don't tell me about your abusive childhood!" Blah, blah, blah.  First of all, these people lack imagination.  It seems they cannot imagine their survivor mother (their image of her) having an inward private war whereby she may have had to struggle with wanting death at some point.  They forget about all the people in a terrible situation who *didn't* survive because they lost hope. (Maybe they didn't kill *themselves* because someone else was happy to do it for them, or it was just a matter of not eating what little food they had...)  They assume ASS-ume that no one in war zones in places far away in the world today do the suicide option or struggle with depression because, well, that kind of news doesn't get out.  War is the sexy news.  A million is a statistic.  The news media doesn't have time to focus on single lives if those lives belong to un-charismatic foreign people, so we only get whatever canned narrative they choose or are able to give us.  

Also, a kid in Iraq is not me. Or you. Unless you are a kid reading this from Iraq.  I have the right to be emotional over my personal circumstances and to feel the brunt of my skull-encased organ's chemical imbalances. Just because "Hey buddy, there are kid's starvin' in Japan so Eat It!" doesn't mean that I, as an adult have to eat nothing but Brussels Sprouts and must feel guilty over enjoying an occasional ice cream sandwich, I don't think that whatever pain I suffered in my childhood via my bullies and some issues in my family life that somehow got buried in my brain and turned into a beast or the things that I feel the full brunt of now and cannot help are something I should feel guilty about and should "just stop" because, because somewhere in the world, people you don't know are starving or because, because there is no crying in baseball.  As if one was capable of just stopping it. 

Let me ask you: How much distress did you feel over the loss of your last pet vs. hearing about some stranger getting shot on the news?   I mean, how much *personal* pain did you feel? Did you feel like did not have the right to weep over your dog or your cat because somewhere in the world, someone you didn't even know existed lost their son that day?    When was the last time you stubbed your toe?  Did you "stop feeling the pain" and "stop cursing the Almighty" because something in the back of your mind told you "Someone's getting beheaded by an extremist right now?" 

EVERYONE has the right to their own problems.  And to feel. Honestly.

And frankly, when I feel the depression-beast on my throat, I am feeling the world-problems, too.  It strikes me most often when I think too much about the fundamental injustice and meaninglessness of the world.  (I do like to think the world has a meaning, but at this point, I cannot say what).  


I am actually beginning to think that those of use us who suffer "illnesses" related to the emotions might actually be more AWAKE than those people who are offended by anyone showing too much heart.  We see the world for what it really is, and when we feel powerless to change it, leaving it starts looking like a deceptively good option.   I think it is why these things are highly correlated to creativity.  We see things that only we pick up on and we have this need to convey them in some way to wake the world up.  

And the world really needs to wake the fuck up to the fact that we're all human, and we're all Life and we'r'e all in this together. 

Don't give into the beasts or the farts of festering assholes.  The world needs us more than it realizes.    



 

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:iconever-so-excited:
ever-so-excited Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Hey! Thank you so much for adding my Sparrot piece to your favorites! :love: So glad you liked it enough to do so. :nod: Thanks again for your support!
Reply
:iconkeyshe54:
Keyshe54 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013   Traditional Artist
I tagged you for a meme-- you don't have to do it if it's a bother of course. I had a few questions in there I was curious about.
[link]
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:icontheblacknova:
TheBlackNova Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013
You may need to look up the Skyward Sword Manga to understand that fic I sent you.
Reply
:iconaltaictiger:
AltaicTiger Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot for the fav! It's really appreciated!
Reply
:iconkeyshe54:
Keyshe54 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012   Traditional Artist
Hello, this is a little random. I am sorry if it's a nuisance
But if you feel like it (no pressure!) I tagged you for this meme/ questionnaire:
[link]
Reply
:iconwisahkecahk:
wisahkecahk Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you have a wonderfull gallery of art!!!!inspring!!!!!thank you for posting such great works!!!!!!
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:iconaranea-designs:
aranea-designs Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello! We've featured you for the month of August in the #skull-painting group! You may get a few requests from me for work that hasn't been submitted to our gallery yet and if you have anything new to add, just do so as you usually would and I'll make sure it gets to the Featured folder! :)
Reply
:iconshadsie:
Shadsie Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!

Sadly, I don't find as much fresh material as I used to, since I live in a suburban apartment now (strangely enough, a few skulls have found me on roadside walks, still)...

I do live next to a cemetary but... no... just no... though it has been joked about in my household. XD
Reply
:iconaranea-designs:
aranea-designs Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! I love your work.

I live in the city too, but a lot of people online sell skulls, so I get those to paint. I've cleaned the bones from roadkill before too, but even that is difficult when you have neighbours close by!

LOL at the cemetery jokes! I work at a funeral home so yeah.. similar jokes!
Reply
:iconairisu-san:
Airisu-San Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
:icontardyayplz:Hello, and thank you for joining :iconlegendofzeldafanz:!!!:icontardyayplz:

:la:We just want to give you a warm welcome to our ever-growing group so please remember to read our lastest news and blogs to be fully updated on well, everything.
Are you feeling generous today? Well, if you are,
please donate to our group so we can reach our goals by the end of 2012. Since we recently bought a new group avatar with our funds we are very low on points. Please donate so we can continue to reach our goals!!! You will recive advirtizment on the front page of the group when you donate!!!:la:
:heart:We are also hosting a Valentines contest so feel free to join!! The submissions for the contest will be closed soon so HURRY to enter.
The prizes are bigger than ever and might grow over the time so HURRY and enter for the great prizes!:heart:

We hope you can activley participate in our group and have fun wile doing so!
Please give to our group to help make it the biggest Zelda fangroup on dA!
Please donate points, art, and anything else that will help our group THRIVE!!:iconisaydanceplz:

:iconlinkla:Sincerly,=KeyLimeHeart , the welcoming committe for LOZFANZ:iconlinkla:
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